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My Zoom session with Phyllis began well. As I centred myself and asked for guidance, I sensed a young male energy nearby. I described the spirit – tattoos on his arms, a stud piercing the skin below his lower lip, among other details – and Phyllis confirmed that was her son in spirit, who had passed when he was an adolescent. He made me feel a sudden pain in his chest – which I communicated to his mother – and surmised he had died from a heart attack.

So young to have heart problems, I thought. What a shame. But I kept those thoughts to myself.

The young man – I’ll call him Ralph – was eager to talk to his mother through me, and he gave several cheerful messages to pass on. But as I was relaying the spirit communications, Phyllis seemed to grow more downcast. I could see her slump a bit in her chair, and there was a sadness around her eyes. I couldn’t understand why she looked so downhearted, considering Ralph’s personality was so buoyant, and he expressed so many kind wishes for his parents and two younger brothers still on the earth plane.

Our session drew to a close and I tried to raise Phyllis’ spirits by saying, “I know his passing had a deep effect on you and your family, but take heart in knowing your son is very happy and sends you his love from the other side of life.”

Phyllis exhaled, and remained quiet for a few moments.

“My son was murdered,” she said stonily. “He was shot in the chest.”

I was astonished. Ralph never made mention of that. Not a hint. He had revealed the sharp pain in his heart, but offered no further indication of what caused it.

“He was murdered,” Phyllis said, spitting out her words. “And I’m convinced he knew who did it. I was hoping he’d tell me the person’s name, so I could bring his killer to justice and find peace.”

I tried to bring Ralph’ spirit back to explain things further, but he was gone. Now what? I certainly didn’t want to leave Phyllis with emotional turmoil. So I took a moment to regroup and remembered something I had learned from my teachers.

“Some spirits don’t want to talk about their passing,” I said. “They’re more focused on moving forward through their soul’s journey. Or perhaps your son didn’t want to talk about his death, because it would have brought you more anguish.”

But Phyllis was determined that Ralph knew the identity of the shooter. She asked if he perhaps gave some type of clue when he communicated with me.

“I can’t speak to whether your son knew his murderer or not,” I said, but then gently suggested what could she have done with that information? Realistically, the police would probably not consider that credible evidence to pursue. And if that happened, the information would have just sat with her, troubled her and deepened her grief because there was nothing she could do about it.

Phyllis accepted my words with silence and as our time ended, I gave her a blessing. Later, I reflected on the session: I felt Ralph chose to not speak of his death because now that he was in the spirit world, the well-being of his family moving forward was more important than his passing.

“Moving forward”: I know those are difficult words for someone dealing with recent pain and grief. Processing grief can often feel like you’re entering a dark tunnel with no end in sight. But with help from grief counselors and people who support you, know that every tunnel does end. A tough walk through darkness can be healing, especially when you realize that pinprick of light in the distance is getting larger. You’re coming to the end of the tunnel. I pray that Phyllis has people who support her and are there with her on the day she reaches the end of the tunnel and steps into light and peace.

If you have any questions or comments on this subject or on any other spiritual matter, feel free to contact me through this website. And please visit me again!

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