My client’s deep grief was like a tsunami that pounded through my video screen as we began our Zoom session. The sadness caught me unaware, even though I had meditated for ten minutes before the sitting (which I always do to open myself to spirit and my guides). But Beatrice’s sorrow was so strong, so raw, I had to take a deep breath. Then she told me her daughter had just killed herself.
“I’m sorry for being such a wreck,” Beatrice said, wiping away her tears. Her pixie-length grey hair was uncombed and looked unwashed. I guessed her age at mid-fifties. “I’ll try to control myself.”
“Don’t worry about it.” My heart went out to her. “Do what you need to do.” I gave her a few moments to compose herself, then asked, “How long ago did your daughter pass away?”
“Five days ago.”
Five days! Now I understood her deep grief. And then I remembered her telephone call a couple days ago, saying she needed to book a session with me, and did I have any cancellations? In fact, I did.
“A friend of mine had recently seen you, and recommended you,” she said while I was still trying to process what I was hearing. “So, after the police took my daughter’s body away, I knew I had to see you. So she could tell me why she did what she did.”
My head was spinning and I needed a little time to get my thoughts together. Where to start? I tried to tune into her daughter’s energy, but Beatrice’s grief was like a dense cloud shrouding me.
I took a deep, grounding breath and asked my guides for help. “First, let me say I don’t prefer the term ‘commit suicide,’ because it sounds like ‘commit a crime.’ And suicide is not something that deserves punishment.
“But most important, Beatrice, is I don’t think I’m the right person for you to see now. I think you’d be better served by seeing a grief counselor to better help you deal with your feelings, because I’m not qualified to provide that kind of emotional support. Your pain is too recent. I always recommend that if people choose to see me, they wait at least six months before making an appointment.”
I recommended several grief counselors I’ve worked with in the past. Next, I gently told her I wasn’t able to pick up her daughter’s energy, which sometimes occurs when a person has just passed into spirit.
“Think of it this way,” I began. “It’s like moving into a new neighbourhood; it takes time to orient yourself to your new surroundings and feel comfortable. This is especially true for someone who has been ill for awhile before passing, and their energy is low; it takes a bit of time to get strong enough to raise their energy so they can connect with a medium.”
And in some cases, spirit people just aren’t ready to talk about themselves and their passing. Because, in a sense, spirit people grieve too, perhaps for past mistakes or the sorrow they know they’ve caused for people they’ve left behind. But, in time, even those feelings pass, and spirit people look forward to connecting with loved ones on this side of life. But I didn’t tell Beatrice this, afraid that it might cause her deeper grief.
Instead I suggested Beatrice read We Are Their Heaven: Why the Dead Never Leave Us by Allison DuBois and Talking to Heaven by James Van Praagh, and again suggested she see a grief counselor. Beatrice thanked me for my words, but didn’t appear to take in any of my recommendations.
After our session ended, I prayed that her guides would help her find a way to ease her pain. It has been over six months since that appointment, and I haven’t heard from her. I still wish her peace.
If you have any questions or comments on this subject or on any other spiritual matter, feel free to contact me through this website. And please visit me again!