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  Jessica was feeling the kind of guilt some of my clients express when they tell me they’re falling in love with someone – and they’re troubled because they don’t want to think that they are replacing the spouse that had died.

Jessica’s husband, Ralph, died three years ago after a sudden heart attack. At the urging of her girlfriends and her teenage daughter – who was concerned about her mother’s well-being – the 40-something single mom began attending Meetup groups and even visited a couple online dating sites. She joined a painting club, where she struck up a friendship with Marcus, a divorced father of two, and the pair seemed to hit it off. But the more she enjoyed being with Marcus, the more distressed Jessica felt.

What made Jessica want to call me was seeing Ralph one afternoon in her rearview mirror.

“When I first met Marcus at my painting group, I knew he was someone I wanted to get to know,” Jessica said. “I think it was his smile.” Then she laughed. “And, no, he wasn’t the male model in our life drawing session.”

Thankfully, we were having a telephone appointment and not a Zoom session, where Jessica might have seen me blush.

She went on to say they’d met several times for coffee, had visited the art museum and spent an evening at a pub for Pierogi Night. (Sounded like fun!) And several times they’d talked on Zoom for hours – so much so, Jessica’s teenage daughter complained that mom was spending too much time on the internet.

As much as she was hesitant to admit it, Jessica was falling in love.

“And I feel terrible,” Jessica told me, her voice becoming strained. “I should break it off. He’s a good guy, and I don’t want him to feel like I’m leading him on.”

I could feel waves of Jessica’s distress emanating from the phone. In addition, I sensed a male presence leaning over my left shoulder, as if he wanted to listen in on our conversation.

“I saw Ralph last week,” Jessica said. “And it wasn’t just me. My sister and I were driving to Costco and I happened to look out the passenger side window and I saw Ralph standing on the corner, watching me as I drove by.”

Jessica took a deep breath. “My sister saw him too. He was there one moment, and then he wasn’t. When I saw him, I was shocked and didn’t say anything. I just kept driving. Then I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw him again, just for a flash. It rattled me. And then my sister turned to me and said, ‘Y’know, I could’ve sworn I saw—

“’I saw him too,’ I told my sister. I was so shaken, I pulled to the side of the road and we just sat there in silence. Then we talked about it a little, and I drove back home. I was no longer in the mood to go shopping.”

Jessica was quiet. In my mind, I heard, It’s ok, it’s ok. The words felt like they were coming from the male spirit behind me. He emanated a feeling of peace.

“Jessica,” I said, “what I am picking up is that the expression on the face of the figure you thought of as Ralph was happy.”

She thought a moment. “He was smiling at me.”

“Jessica, I think Ralph was happy for you, happy that you’d found someone and were no longer feeling sad and alone.” The male spirit with me made me feel approval for the words I was using.

“But how can that be?” Jessica asked.

“Our loved ones in spirit never want to see us suffer or in pain. They know we miss them, but they want us to be happy during our time left on Earth. Jealousy and guilt don’t exist in the spirit world. Spirit is a place of love, the same kind of love they would like us to experience here.”

I then described the male spirit that was with me, which Jessica recognized, and passed several messages from him. Jessica’s voice calmed, and she thanked me for the encouraging words.

And before our session ended, I asked her which pub had Pierogi Night. Potato and sauerkraut? Yummy!

If you have any questions or comments on this subject or on any other spiritual matter, feel free to contact me through this website. And please visit me again!

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