HELPING OUR CHILDREN

I was about to close the office for the day when the telephone rang. It was 4:59 pm, just seconds away from when the answering service would click on. It had been a tough day for readings; several mothers had come to me wanting to connect with their children who had passed into spirit. Those kinds of sessions are always rough, being a mother myself. But the ringing sounded urgent, and spirit urged me to pick up the receiver. I’m glad I did, because it was a child in need. Unfortunately, I couldn’t give her the help she wanted.

“Hi? I’m not bothering you, am I?” The female voice was soft, and I wondered how old she was. Then again, I’ve met women – and men – with delicate, young-sounding voices who were in their 30’s.

“No, of course not. How are you?”

“Not too good.” She paused, took a deep breath. “I’ve been having dreams about people dying, and some of those dreams have come true. Like: A couple months ago, I dreamed there was a horrible fire at the end of the street that I live on, and a woman trapped in the house was calling for my help. When I woke up, my parents told me that a woman who lived at the end of our street had been killed in a fire that night.”

Her voice quivered as she tried to hold back her emotions. “And then, one night I dreamed that my grandmother, who’d been sick for a long time, gave me her engagement ring before she died. The next morning, my mom told me grandma just died. Then, that night, she came home with grandma’s engagement ring. When I saw it in her hand, I got scared.”

Now I knew I was talking to someone in her teens – late teens, I hoped. “Why did that scare you?” I asked.

“Because my dreams… It’s gotten so every time I wake up, I wonder what things will come true and what things won’t. What should I do? I can’t talk about this to anyone else – they’d think I was crazy. Can I make an appointment and come see you?”

As I began to formulate an answer, I realized I didn’t even know her name. But there was one thing I did need to know. “Before I share some sagely advice,” I said with a chuckle, and she laughed, too. “May I first ask you how old are you?”

“Fifteen.” She was quiet for a moment. “Does that matter?”

“Well, I’m at a loss as to how I can help you, because I normally don’t see clients younger than 18 without a parent’s permission. And I understand you don’t want to share your situation with others—”

“My mother would kill me,” she said with a sigh.

I was sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, too many youngsters, when faced with a spiritual or psychic dilemma, feel like they have nowhere to turn for help. And because my caller was a minor, and legally under her parents’ control, I was uncomfortable with advising her to do something that might be against her parents’ wishes.

That happened to me once; the individual was 21 years old and a terminal cancer patient in a hospice. Joseph was literally days from passing when his friend, Murray, asked me to visit Joseph and answer his questions about the afterlife. Though I told Murray I certainly didn’t have rock-solid answers about the spirit world, I could certainly share my Spiritualist beliefs, which might give Joseph some comfort. Murray agreed.

The hospice was an open, cheery place, filled with light, and the scent of sugar cookies baking down the hall was a tantalizing aroma. Murray and I walked into Joseph’s room and found him propped up in his bed, thumbing through a National Geographic. Though his skin colour was sallow, he greeted me with a smile. We chatted for a few minutes about earthly and spiritual matters. Then his mother walked into the room.

“Who’s this?” she asked, eyeing me with suspicion. When Joseph explained I was a medium and a Spiritualist, the woman exploded. “How dare you come in here and fill my son’s head with your garbage!” she cried. Murray tried to placate her, but she was unstoppable.  “Don’t you see my son is dying? Get out of here!”

Clearly, the woman was hurting from her impending loss, but I didn’t feel it was my place to talk with her about that. I apologized to the woman, and quickly left. Walking to my car, I said a prayer for Joseph.

The experience taught me that – even though Joseph was 21 – I should always get a parent’s permission when talking with a dependent. But that didn’t mean I should stay silent when someone needed help.

I assured the girl on the phone, “You’re not crazy. Rather, you may have a gift. Your dreams are premonitions. I’m sorry to hear that some of them are unpleasant; those have a different energy to them, as if they say, ‘Pay attention to me!’ I understand that people experience these types of dreams so they’re forewarned about something, and can be prepared for an event when it happens. I hope this helps.”

“Well, thanks for listening,” she said with a hint of disappointment in her voice, and hung up.

I wish I could’ve helped her more. In fact, I wish there was a support system in place to help children understand and cope with their spiritual experiences. Then I remembered talking recently to Canadian author Margot McKinnon, who I interviewed for an article I wrote for Psychic News, the Spiritualist newspaper published in England. McKinnon, a former teacher who is earning a PhD in education at Oxford University in England, believes teachers and administrators must find a way to discuss spirituality with youngsters in schools.

“There are so many children who don’t know how to relate to spirit,” she says. “Some have seen ghosts; others have felt the presence of relatives who have died, and often these kids feel traumatized. They struggle with their visions. We need a safe way to address those kids’ needs.”

I hope my young caller has found someone who will listen to her and encourage her to explore her abilities. I shudder to think of how many gifted young intuitives out there ended up denying their connection to spirit because they were afraid to talk with someone or, worse, were told to “act more normal.”

If you have any questions or comments on this subject or on any other spiritual matter, feel free to write me at mail @ carolynmolnar.com. And please visit me again!

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