I recently taught my seminar “Manifesting Your Mate” at Lily Dale, New York, one of the largest Spiritualist communities in the world. Every summer, the gated Victorian village offers, among other things, classes in mediumship, personal growth and spiritual development. My workshop taught men and women how to be receptive to finding a likeminded individual that they would want to share their life with. I also talked about what NOT to look for in a potential partner. Afterward, listening to some of my students’ stories, I realized that what often keeps people from finding happiness with a new person is that it is hard to walk away from a relationship that no longer serves them. So, if I teach this workshop again, I’m going to include my meditation, “Cutting The Ties That Bind.”

 I created this meditation for the intuitive development classes I teach in Toronto after several of my students talked about how difficult it was to end a thorny relationship – whether it was a love affair, a family relationship, a business situation or whatever. But what makes any emotional housecleaning even harder is what if the other individual in the difficult relationship has passed into spirit? How can words and emotions that were never expressed when the person was alive be communicated when they have died?

For sure, that’s part of my job of being a medium. But healing emotional wounds can also be tough work for the person who needs the healing. And the tough first step is to recognize that the etheric cord – also called an energetic cord – that connects us to the person must be severed.

What is an energetic cord? Writer Julie Tallard Johnson ( describes it this way:

“When there seems to be something that prevents you from feeling your independence – some powerful but invisible influence holding you back – you may be influenced by an energetic cord. These cords can be connections we have with other people. Sometimes, they tie us to situations.

“Cords can be positive as well as negative. When they are negative, they are often unspoken and unquestioned agreements that we will behave a certain way, or fulfill a given role for another person.

“Some of these agreements make you unduly responsible for that other person’s feelings, or imply that you behave in ways that are detrimental to your well-being. These agreements are often based on false or outdated beliefs about who you are. Such cords are unhealthy and can be destructive, and use up your vital energy. To be strong in your freedom, you may need to break some of these cords.”

In other words, an etheric cord may be keeping us in a co-dependent relationship. Sometimes our love for a person makes us stay with them, and hope that they will one day quit drinking, stop using drugs, change their abusive behaviours, or learn to be more loving. But do you know what the problem is? We want to change that person, and that person may not be ready – or willing – to change. Then, as Viktor Frankl says, “When we are faced with a situation that we cannot change, then we are challenged to change ourselves.”

 After I read Johnson’s words, I had to put the book down. I thought of how many students and clients her thoughts applied to. Then I picked up my pen and started writing. After months of revising and re-revising, I created the meditation “Cutting the Ties That Bind,” which is aimed at helping people cut the energy cords that link them to uncomfortable situations. That meditation is the cornerstone of my new guided meditation CD, Meditations to Deepen Your Spirituality.

 Last spring, I tried it in my classes, where a guided meditation is part of each session. After experiencing this meditation, one student told me later that she felt a burden lift from her shoulders – a burden she had been carrying for 20 years. It is because of her comments that I knew I had something that would help people.

Before recording that meditation, I changed it up again so listeners would come away with a positive experience. It is important for people to speak their truth, and live in their own strength. It is important to sever any energetic cords – and it is just as important to then send healing love and light to those relationships or situations at the other end of the cord.

 If you have any questions or comments on this subject or on any other spiritual matter, feel free to write me at mail @ And please visit me again!

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