Anna’s mother was dying. Her father had passed three months ago. “My parents hated each other,” Anna said quietly, “but they never divorced.” She brushed a stray strand of grey hair off her forehead and smirked. But I could feel the pain throbbing deep in Anna’s heart, pulsing out from her soul like cold waves. As I mentally blessed Anna and asked my guides to help me help her, a presence that identified itself as Anna’s father stepped in. He wanted to talk to his daughter. There was an uneasy energy around him, as if he was trying to block something. Was his message filled with anger and, if so, would Anna be hurt by hearing from him? Should I censor his words? I thought. No, Anna had the right to hear from her father’s spirit – if that’s what she truly wanted. So I began the session by asking, “Anna, do you want to know everything?”
Asking “Do you want to know everything?” is a technique I learned from English medium Lisa Williams. When working one-on-one with a client, asking that question takes the onus off me to edit spirit’s words. Because not all that goes on in the spirit world is harps and angels – some spirit still have the rough edges they had when they were on the earth plane. I’ve had some energies come in using language so salty, a biker would blush. And a couple female spirits have identified themselves to their husbands using descriptions better suited to Playboy magazine. And because I didn’t edit those words or descriptions, clients were always able to identify the spirit presence.
(However, when working at a public message event, for privacy reasons, I continue to work with spirit on a “seven-second delay,” as they say on television. Some information is no one’s business except the person being read.)
Anna looked at the floor for a moment before answering, “Everything?” Another moment passed, then she stated, “Yes.”
In my mind, I asked the presence to step closer to me. “A spirit calling himself your father wants to talk with you. There are scars on his arms. He feels like a gruff man. He’s showing me a belt. And now he’s throwing it away. Do you understand this?”
Anna’s eyes filled with tears. “Yes,” she said, reaching for the box of tissues on my desk. “Oh, yes.”
I felt Anna’s sadness within me. “He’s bringing in another spirit. This motherly energy is gentler. She feels tired. I see her lying in bed. There’s a half-filled water pitcher on a table beside her. She wants to thank you for the roses.”
Anna looked bewildered. “That sounds like my mother, in her room at the nursing home. But she’s still here. I just brought her those roses this morning. I couldn’t speak to her, because she was sleeping.”
“Sometimes,” I said, “when people are getting ready to transition, their soul separates from their physical body in preparation for entering the spirit world. I can’t tell you her death time, but she’s telling me she wants you to prepare for her passing.”
“But what’s she doing with my father?” Anna made a face like she was eating cold gruel. “They couldn’t stand each other. They stayed together because they were so religious, the only thing worse than staying married was getting divorced.” Quietly, she added, “He was a brute. He made both our lives miserable.”
Anna’s father spoke to me, and I repeated his thoughts: He was sorry for the way he acted; it was the way he was brought up in the old country, he said, where in his family men were expected to be tough and punishing. He asked for forgiveness—
“Enough!” Anna said angrily. “I’m supposed to forgive him, and everything will be fine? Because of him, I’ve had three bad marriages. It’s his fault that my life is so awful!” Her teeth clenched and she shook her head. “No way! No way!”
Instantly, I no longer felt the spirits of Anna’s parents.
I closed my eyes and white-lighted the room to help clear away the negativity. Then I opened a drawer in my desk and took out my list of references. The list contains phone numbers and websites of various telephone helplines and reputable counselors who offer services that I’m not qualified to give. I keep the list because I have another rule, thanks again to Lisa Williams: Never allow a client to leave emotionally distraught. And my rule: Always give the client hope.
I gently recommended that Anna talk with a therapist I trusted who specialized in anger management and family dynamics. Anna grudgingly wrote the woman’s phone number on a slip of paper, then silently left my office.
As I reflected on that session, I wondered if it was best that I told Anna everything about her father. Spirit whispered to me that sometimes, the only way people can move forward is to hear what’s blocking them from truly enjoying life. By choosing to hear everything, Anna took a courageous step forward. Only by facing anger and blame can someone begin to let go of those negative emotions. And once those feelings are dealt with, then there is truly room for hope.
I said a prayer for Anna. I wished I could’ve done more for her, but I’m a medium, not a therapist. Anna has her journey, just as we all have our unique paths to walk. All I can do is stand on the sidelines and do my best to let people know spirit walks with them and encourages them to move toward the light of grace.
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